starstruck

Saturday, September 01, 2007

two months ago i almost got tempted to the idea that hope is the curse of mankind.
why am i working like a dog?
because i am hoping.
why am i enduring pain?
because i am hoping.
why am i searching?
because i am hoping.
why am i waiting?
because i am hoping.
and so on, until the inevitable final question,
why am i disappointed?
because i hoped.
how ironic, that something as beautiful, and as hopeful, as the idea of hope, could be something as ugly and as final as a curse. how we would like to think that we are living a futile life, that we are the victims of some sadistic circumstance that leaves us sitting, salivating, waiting, like dogs at the dinner table.
but we have closed our minds, and our eyes. we forget to take it apart. we forget to ask what it is we are hoping for in the first place. we put the fullstop before we reach the difficult part, and so we don't ask what it is we hoped for that we did not get.
clearly if we hope for illusions, then we will be disappointed. and the disappointment will be magnified by the fact that we had devoted time and energy in singular pursuit of something which turned out to be nothing. but could it be that sometimes that inevitable final question never comes? could it be that there are some things which we can hope for, and we will get, with not a hint of disappointment? couldn't it be that these are the things that are real, the things that really matter? couldn't it be that this is the real meaning of hope, and that on the larger, proper scale of things, hope can only be beautiful? because hope will drive you onwards, and pick you up, and send you all the way home. safe and sound, with everything you hoped for.

posted by gruff at 11:22 PM

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