starstruck

Saturday, December 09, 2006

why.
why.
why.
am i.
awake, at this time.
if you sleep at 1030 and wake up at 615, what time will you wake up if you sleep at 1230?
619.
makes no mathematical sense.
but i suppose last night's sleep was well sacrificed, because i came home early and talked to three of my favourite people. whom i haven't talked to in ages :)
and hooray for iris, who has leveled up to a triangle!
talking about driving, mok's driving has received the stamp of approval. thus far the safest driver in school whose car we've sat in.
whereas mine remains in the depths of obscurity, my not having sat in the driver's seat for more than a week. because i've been cooped up in my room with the romantic orange light and the glaring laptop screen.
and hooray for the friend who throws stuffed toys against the wall till their eyes drop out, because she has something to look forward to. not christmas, and not the end of exams. hahah.
whereas i have nothing to look forward to for the next month. maybe the next few years.
i used to look forward to christmas cos the lights and the company always made it feel like i was on holiday in some faraway place. now it's just the pretty grey sky that does the trick.
christmases stopped being fun three years ago, when it was getting high on haagen dazs rum and raisin, sitting like homeless kids outside malls, taking 14 everywhere. now it's wine, cars, and we're too old to be sprawling on the ground. and people are in hong kong, japan, canada, the uk, and everywhere else.
except becky and karla the hamster are coming back. and starbucks has pretty christmas mugs, which reminds me of the christmas when we sat at starbucks with free coffee and juelin sat watching nette and i look like we wanted to die. that was two years ago.
against all odds and together with disney i am actually hoping that this christmas will be good stuff.

that's when i knew, that i could never have you.
i knew that before you did,
still i'm the one who's stupid.

posted by gruff at 6:53 AM

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