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Thursday, October 26, 2006

i hate looking at photos. because when i look at photos, i see things i don't want to see. photos remind me that things go on when i'm not around. photos make me wonder who are my friends and who are not. photos also make me wonder what in the world the point is of caring when the ones you care about are out throwing their lives away, together with other people you care about. photos make you cry, and then they make you wonder why you are crying when everyone is smiling. photos show you that what you thought was true is a lie. which makes me wonder why i am so stupid as to still think things are true when they have been proven time and time again to be exactly the opposite.
this afternoon des, glenda and i were talking about how some people can say they are a group of friends when they do things to each other totally contrary to the meaning of the word. i was glad that i am not in such a situation. tonight i realise how wrong i was.
and tonight i realise i cannot trust anyone. because nobody really cares. and nobody really keeps their promises. they give excuses as to why they couldn't keep their promises, and make you feel for a while that it is actually your fault that they couldn't keep their promises. but then the only reason they are breaking their promises is that they no longer want to keep them. it is that simple.
to the people i am talking to on msn now, i am sorry that you are not getting a single laugh or smile out of me. it is entirely impossible.

posted by gruff at 10:17 PM

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