starstruck

Monday, July 03, 2006

i'm probably crazy but i feel like i'm dying. my sleeping pattern has gone from 10pm to 7am to 2am to 7am. my eating pattern doesn't even have a pattern.
so today, i slept at three in the morning. and woke up at six thirty to go driving, which was a waste of time since i was too tired to drive properly anyway. so i went barging into other cars and insisted on changing lanes when there was obviously a BIG BLACK CAR right next to me. and then, because i may be dying but my brain still works, i figured i had to get some sleep. so i was sleeping happily, until cheryl drops me a friendly msg that says, singtel presentation due on wednesday. and so i take a shower, which was very nice and the highlight of my day, which shows what a great day i had, and head down to work. and since i was half asleep and bumbling through the afternoon i cannot say exactly what happened at work. except that i visited the toilet many times because while coffee helps to keep you awake it also is a diuretic.
this is what days are like nowadays, a chunk of monotone.
and i am so aware of the standard my life has fallen to, because last night i remembered my jc life. which was absolutely exhausting and stressful but ultimately fulfilling and fun.
because i had a class that i loved.
and i had a team that i loved.
i had subjects that i loved.
whatever, i even had teachers that i loved.
but now i have taken to good-looking footballers, late night football games, shopping and other insignificant and silly things. because liking superficial things always means that you won't feel as shattered when they're gone. and things you like always go.

posted by gruff at 9:01 PM

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